A Purely Human Emotion
by crazejen
Summary: It's been five-years since the Enterprise took off into space, and now the crew is home. Uhura longs to see an old flame of hers, but finds a terrible surprise waiting when she visits him. One-shot.


**A/N**: While watching a behind the scenes extras for Star Trek TOS, I heard Nichelle Nichols say that Uhura might have someone back home. And I was intrigued by this. What if that is what kept her from really falling for Spock? So I decided to write a fic about after their five year mission and how they are back on Earth. I completely suck at writing romantic scenes and I feel all floopy about sharing this.. but I hope you'll like it anyway. My older sis assured me it was good (but she is biased). This is written in the TOS universe. I hope I stayed true to their characters. Forgive me if there are any errors. P.S. Experimenting with Spock's emotions is HARD! (Also, if you feel I made Spock OOC, please refer to the 'Cloud Masters' episode in season three, where in his own right mind, he hits on a girl and even shows an uncharacteristic amount of emotions toward her. That is all. Enjoy! =D )

Originally posted on tumblr. (Please be easy on me, writing romance is something I'm still a n00b at).

Side note: There seems to be an argument about whether Vulcan's are cold or hot blooded. I always figured warm blooded, so I'll leave it the way it is.

* * *

Five years, had it really been that long? Uhura breathed the air. It wasn't alien; it was earth, her home. She smiled brightly; it was almost too good to be true. But it was also sad. Five years of services with Captain James T. Kirk, and having made countless friend aboard the Enterprise, it was hard to leave it behind. She wouldn't ever be back on that ship.

"Miss Uhura," the calm emotionless voice said from behind her. She smiled and turned to face the familiar look of Mr. Spock.

"What will you do now that you're free?" He asked, coming to stand beside her.

"Well, I have to meet an old friend," she replied, "besides that, nothing."

Mr. Spock nodded, "I hope you find all well with your friend."

Uhura nodded.

McCoy spotted them and came over, "hey, don't forget we are meeting at that bar to celebrate our return home," he said merrily.

"Of course, Dr. McCoy, I wouldn't miss it," Uhura said.

"You're invited too, you pointed eared hobgoblin," The doctor gave Mr. Spock an expression Uhura knew well.

"I'm so pleased to receive your invitation," Spock replied. Uhura hid her smile. She always recognized emotion from Spock when she saw it. McCoy harrumphed, "don't bring your grumpiness."

"Doctor, five years in space has taught you nothing about me. I do not have this human emotion know as 'grumpiness'"

"You-"

"Okay you two. I don't have time to watch you argue, as amusing as this is," Uhura laughed, brushing a stray hair from her face, "I'll see you later." With a wave she left them alone. McCoy looked at Spock, whose eyes watched her until she vanished in the crowd.

* * *

The streets were the same, yet they felt new to her. She made her way down the sidewalk, her boots clicking softly. Somehow, this felt more alien than the many planets she had visited on her journeys. Her eagerness outweighed her nervousness though and she continued ahead.

Finally she arrived at the building she knew so well. He was still here. At least that's what she had heard. She smiled; this place brought back many memories of her days in the academy. The days before she was assigned to the Enterprise. They seemed a life-time ago now. As she stood there staring up at the large building, an uneasy feeling settled in her gut. She shook her head, pushing the feeling down and entered the building. Choosing to take the stairs instead of the elevator to the fifth floor. Her legs carried her swiftly down the hall until she stopped outside the correct apartment. Her heart pounded as she touched the handle. She swallowed and pushed the door opened.

"John-" The name died in her throat as she saw another woman in the man's lap, their lips locked. They broke apart in shock when she entered. The man stared at her.

"Uhura, you're back," he said, "is that today?" The other woman stood, looking embarrassed.

Uhura didn't speak, she was unable to.

"Uh, I can explain."

"Please do," she managed.

Jonathon pulled her into the kitchen, "that's Violet. She… we have been seeing each other for three years now," He watched her face, waiting for a reaction.

"Oh."

"I know I should have told you," he continued, "but I didn't want to do it over the communicator. I wanted to tell you in person. I'm sorry."

Uhura shook her head, "I understand. I was gone a long time, you must have been lonely," her heart flinched when she looked at him.

"I love her," he confessed.

The words stung, but strangely not as badly as she would have believed.

"Do you… Are you okay?" Jonathon asked.

Uhura forced a smile, "Of course. I've just got… I have to meet friends. I'll see you later." She quickly made for the door, leaving the couple behind. She didn't run or cry as she walked down the hall, which only seconds ago, had seemed so warm and familiar. She waited for the elevator, and once the doors closed, she allowed herself to cry softly. When they opened again, she stiffened her emotions and strode out, marching meaningfully toward the bar where the others would be. Uhura saw nothing, heard nothing as she walked. The sounds of the city were nothing more than a buzzing in her ears.

She wasn't sure how she ended up there, but she stood outside the bar with bright blinking lights. She went in. Standing near the entrance, she spotted the Captain, the Doctor, Chekov, Sulu and Spock gathered at a table. She smiled, however the memories of what had taken place made her sick. She heart lurched as tears threatened her eyes again. She was turning away to leave when a voice said, "Is anything wrong, Miss Uhura?"

She froze, tears slipping down her dark cheeks, "no," she tried to sound cheerful, but her voice cracked and shook, "I'm just not in the party mood. Please give the others my apology." She left quickly, unwilling to let them see her crying.

The streets were colder now; she tugged her coat closer as dark settled on the city. A shiver ran down her spine as she wiped the tears away. Suddenly someone in the crowd shoved her and she stumbled against a wall. She pushed her sleeve to her eyes, leaning against the wall for support. It was better than attempting to find her way through the crowd blindly.

Something warm enveloped her shoulders and Uhura started, turning to face whoever it might be.

"Mr. Spock," she whispered astonished, "you followed me?"

"You seemed quite upset. I did not think it wise to leave you alone in such a reckless human state."

She snorted, "You always have had a way with the ladies."

Spock blinked, not understanding her joke, "I do not-"

"Never mind," she waved her hand, gripping the Vulcan's soft jacket around her. "Thank you, Mr. Spock. But I really want to be alone."

"Perhaps I should walk you home at least," He offered.

Uhura studied his emotionless face, "alright. I see you won't be satisfied until you do."

Spock nodded and together they walked down the busy streets. Neither spoke as the wind whistled past them. Uhura glanced at Spock, "I suppose you aren't going to ask me what happened?" She ventured.

"I will not pry into your personal matters. I thought if you wished to talk of it, you would." He looked at her, his eyes sparked with a small emotion that Uhura tried to read before it vanished.

She sighed, "of course you would think that. You're a Vulcan," she shook her head, "have you ever thought you knew someone, but then discovered you didn't know them at all?" She asked.

Spock said nothing for a moment before he replied, "yes."

"It's a hard reality, isn't it?"

He hesitated, "yes."

Uhura looked up at him, "doesn't it hurt?"

Spock didn't reply as they walked. Uhura smiled bitterly, "well, someone I … loved, decided he didn't love me – Three years ago, apparently. I just found out today."

Spock was silent as she spoke, "I can't believe I didn't see it sooner," she laughed without amusement, brushing her bangs away, "I really am an idiot that I believed he could…" She trailed off as her throat constricted. They were now entering her apartment building, "I'm sorry," She whispered. "You don't want to hear this. This is me," she gestured to the elevator doors, "you don't need to come any further." Uhura pushed the button and waited.

"I wish to walk you to your door, if you don't mind," Spock said.

Uhura was startled; she hadn't expected him to offer that, "I won't say no."

Together they rode the elevator in silence up to her floor and walked to her apartment door, "thank you again, Mr. Spock." Tears touched her eyes, "I know how you feel around emotions, so I'll go inside before you have to deal with it." She was putting the key in the lock when he stopped her. His hand sat softly on hers and a shock rippled through her heart.

"Miss Uhura," he began, "you are right in assuming or knowing, perhaps, I am uncomfortable around strong emotions. However, I cannot leave you like this," Spock looked her in the eye. "Of all the people on the Enterprise, I have rarely seen you cry. You have always conducted yourself with a fair amount of control. I can respect that…I do respect that." His voice lowered as he spoke, "Uhura, the man who hurt you is a fool. You deserve better. Someone who will appreciate you for your mind and beauty; someone you can relate to."

Uhura's eyes widened, "Spock… I don't understand," She whispered. "What are you saying?"

"I am saying if you need to release your emotions, you may do so in front of me. I will not run or attempt to correct your behavior."

Uhura gaped at the Vulcan who looked back at her, his expression soft as he watched her with a sincerity she wasn't used to. Her sadness could no longer be contained, especially now that her emotionless former First Officer was offering her something completely human. Tears dripped down her cheeks; she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his stiff torso until her face was pressed to his chest.

His arms hovered at his sides, but slowly he relaxed, and his breathing normalized. However, she heard it hitch again when a soft sob escaped her. Slowly, uncertainly, his strong arms wrapped around her holding her in a gentle embrace as his head came to rest on hers.

Uhura's sobs slowed, and the rapid beating of Spock's heart soothed her. Mere minutes ago she had felt totally alone in her world, now she felt that nothing else mattered. Perhaps it had always been this way. Maybe she had always loved him.

_'I love him_,' the thought struck her; _'I'm in love with Mr. Spock._' She opened her eyes, feeling the heat that radiated from his body, the strong muscles holding her protectively. Was it possible he loved her too? He was committing a purely human gesture. He was even humming softly against her hair. She pulled back a little, just enough to gaze up at him.

"What's that tune?" she asked.

"It is an ancient lullaby my mother used to sing to me," he replied.

Uhura blinked back a fresh batch of tears, "why Mr. Spock, you are sharing that with me? I am honored."

"Well, it is only-"

She stood on her tiptoes and silenced him with a kiss. She remained there for a few seconds before lowering back on her heels, and smiling, "thank you."

Spock looked thrown, his eyes were wide and if possible, his pulse was racing even faster.

"I…" He croaked.

Uhura giggled lightly, "Did I surprise you?"

"…Yes, you did."

"I apologize. I was… taken by emotion."

He didn't say anything.

"I'll leave you be," she opened her door, preparing to enter when his voice stopped her, "wait."

Uhura turned.

"May I?" his hand hovered inches from her face, she thought he wanted to come in, "of course," she said.

What he did though was not at all what she expected. His fingers tilted her chin up and he leaned in, kissing her softly on the lips. Uhura's eyes widened. He pulled back, looking at the floor, "I'm sorry. I do not know-"

Uhura wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed their lips together again. This time he leaned into it. They stayed like that for a while, until Spock pulled back.

"I must go. I promised to meet the Captain."

Uhura nodded, biting her lip, "will I see you again?" she asked. Spock sensed the underlying question and smiled.

"Most assuredly," he stroked her cheek, "perhaps tomorrow?"

"Yes. The corner café," Uhura smiled.

"I will see you then," he squeezed her hand and walked back down the hallway.

She stood in her doorway and watched him go. He lifted his hand in farewell and she blew him a kiss before the elevator doors closed.

Tomorrow was a new day, and she had a date with a Vulcan. She smiled, feeling giddy as she stepped into her apartment and closed the door behind her.


End file.
